Countries In Debate Club
by Skye Phoenix Dove
Summary: Liana Acacia Falcon and I have decided to tow some countries with us to debate club! Enjoy the short banters and arguments as our unsuspecting classmates talk about worldly affairs! Rated T because I'm paranoid.
1. Discussion: Healthcare

**Introducing the results of our new method for taking our debate club notes! If there is anything you don't understand from reading this, let me know in a review and I'll put it in.**

**This wasn't really meant to be a story, so sorry if it get a bit confusing from time to time. I didn't write this alone, it's sorta a co-author thing with my friend Liana Acacia Falcon. She's never seen Hetalia before, basing the countries on what I've told her and what she could gather from stereotypes, so sorry about any OOCness.**

**Our OCs turn up once in a while. They shouldn't disrupt the flow of the story too much, I should hope.**

**There will be more than one chapter. Have fun. With any luck, you may actually learn something.**

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><p><em>Discussion: Healthcare<em>

_…__[America's healthcare is such that, even if you were dying, they would need your credit card before they even treat you, and some people who are dying from car crashes and such would rather just not go because of how expensive the fees are!]…_

America: It's not my fault! I hate my government! *sob*

Canada: Ha ha. You're just jealous because everyone loves my country. :)

Liana: Quit arguing you two. Canada, you are a country.

America: *sticks out tongue*

Skye: That was rude, America.

Canada: *sniff* My brother hates me.

America: Nah, I don't. Who are you again?

Canada: I'm Canada… and you're a jerk for being so stingy over money at the expense of lives when you're always so busy preaching about 'freedom' and 'human rights'.

America: I a– oh, is that FOOD?!

Canada: What? Oh, yeah, it's pancakes. I was saving them for breakfast, but you can have them if you admit I take care of my people better than you do *evil grin*

America: Meanie. I'll say it if I get maple syrup.

Canada: I knew you liked my maple syrup. *smirk*

America: Noooooooo! My brother hates meeeeeeeeeee!

*Malaysia appears*

Malaysia: Your brother hates mee?

Canada: No I don't, Malaysia. Mee is delicious, though pancakes taste better. Hey, did you know that the entire discussion out there so far has been about how much more *evil grin* heroic your healthcare is compared to his. :)

America: You… you… take care of your people… better… I'll admit it… *sob*

Skye & Liana: *falls off their chairs laughing*

Canada: There there, America, don't need to cry.

Skye: Ha ha, I love how you two make each other cry and then comfort each other. Anyway, I guess you guys can stop now 'cos the discussion's over. We'll call you when the debate starts, 'kay?


	2. Debate: Negotiating with Terrorists

**We do not intend to insult anyone with the things written here that have direct reference to any mentioned countries. Malaysia is an OC, created because she came up a lot in the debate (and because Liana didn't know there wasn't a Malaysia in Hetalia yet)**

**As I said before, i**f there is anything you don't understand from reading this, let me know in a review and I'll put it in.****

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><p><em>Motion: This house will negotiate with the terrorists.<em>

Skye: We need to take notes now. But I really don't feel like it so let's go kidnap/bribe/tiedownandforce some countries to do it for us.

Liana: Now you're talking. I'm all for it.

_[The terrorists have been committing terrible acts of terror and many lives have been lost.]_

Spain: Acts of terror?! Losing lives?!

Austria: The government cannot be seen as weak!

Spain: But negotiating encourages moderation.

Romano: Wow, big word, tomato bastard. What's moderation?

Afghanistan: I hate my country. Forever terrorizing people, then people don't give in, then it all ends up in war.

Canada: *sigh* You guys should try peace, it works better.

Japan: Um, by caving into the terrorists' demands, wouldn't that encourage them to continue?

Canada: But it's a more *ahem* civilized to do it. Besides, we're not really giving into their demands, but we're showing that we are also human beings that will listen and not rush blindly into violence the same way they do.

Malaysia: You expect the terrorists to stop shooting while negotiating? By negotiating, you legitamise the acts they have done.

Japan: When did you get so shrewd? But then again, by not negotiating we will be stooping down to their level and killing as well.

America: By negotiating, you give the terrorists attention.

Canada: Better than ignoring them! That hasn't been working at all!

England: But the society will start to see the government as weak, like they have given up in a way, listening to the terrorists.

America: And negotiating doesn't always work. I once paid over a hundred for terrorists to release two people, but in the end I never got them back and one of them even got beheaded. Terrorists will just take advantage of the situation if you make it a norm.

*awkward silence*

Japan: Many other countries have had negotiations and won. Smaller ones, that don't have as many weapons on their side as America's government.

Nigeria: My government didn't negotiate with them and a bunch of girls got captured.

Canada: Violence is always bad.

America: *cough* Hockey *cough*

Canada: That's different, America has a lot of terrorism enemies.

England: You were once bloodthirsty too. Anyway, what about if their demands are something ridiculous, like making women slaves?

Canada: We're not giving into their demands, remember? Negotiating means that both sides get to have a say in thing.

England: Wouldn't it be more dangerous to negotiate if we don't accept their views?

Japan: But it will at least cause the terrorists to rethink their demands. There will never be a perfect middle ground, but we can come close.

Canada: I mean, look at the way America responded, he jumped straight into war.

Malaysia: Like, remember when Tunkul Abdul Rahman negotiated and prevented anyone else from getting hurt? It worked with my country.

America: Yeah, but we don't live in a world where negotiations always work. Just because a few worked in the past, doesn't mean they will always work!

Japan: Yes, that is true. If we negotiate with the terrorists, they will get some justification for what they do.

Malaysia: The rhetoric that terrorists use to recruit is that the west is oppressing them. Don't you think that refusing to acknowledge them will encourage them?

Iraq: Yeah, I think America is just a coward.

America: Hey!

England: Look, the long term effects of negotiation do threaten the national security.

Japan: They might just use the negotiations for their own benefit. They could manipulate the government through it.

Switzerland: Will you pick a side already! You can't fight for both ends!

Japan: Yes I can, and you cant talk because you do that too, during actual wars. Anyway, these kinds of negotiations can be taken advantage of. Remember what happened when America tried negotiation?

New Zealand: Look, terrorism is a problem. Negotiation does work sometimes, some just doesn't succeed as well as others.

Australia: That's nice, 'lil whippersnapper. Now get back here, it's past your bedtime.


	3. Debate: Existance Of Humanity

**I'm quite proud of this one, because this debate is the one that we wrote ourselves and not noting down! We didn't really manage to finish it exactly... but you'll probably understand why when you get to that part. *sniff* so moving Liana... you made me cry with that part.**

******Anything you don't understand from reading this, let me know in a review and I'll put it in.******

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><p><em>Motion: You find out that the world is about to end–<em>

America: Nooooooooooooooo…!

England: Bloody idiot.

_Motion: God has instructed you to build an ark–_

Israel: Oh, oh, I know this story!

_Motion: All plants and animals are guaranteed safety, but there's no room for humans._

Romano: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY BASTARDO!

_Motion: This house will *dramatic music* abandon humanity._

Italy: Ve~? I don't understand.

Romano: *smack* What are you doing here?

Italy: *sniff* I'm going fratello…

Skye: I think we'll assign you into groups so that the notes are more easily read…

_PM – Japan & England_

_OL – America & Malaysia_

_DPM – New Zealand & Israel_

_DOL – Canada & China_

Japan: Let's ask ourselves this question; why is the world ending in the first place?

England: Well, before humans came along, all the plants and animals were safe and happy. Then humans showed up and stared doing this like hunting and logging and all that.

Japan: *mumbling* (Not all humans, China and I and America and Canada were all fine before 'civilization' came along)

America: I heard that! Knew you were on our side, buddy!

Japan: What?! N-no! I mean, um, maybe…

England: You're on our side!

America: Too bad! *laughs maniacally then slowly calms down* We really shouldn't blame the people for it, since there could be other reasons too. We've had species like dinosaurs and such die hundreds of years before humans ever even existed. How do you know that this is not just the natural order of things, the next event scheduled to happen in nature?

Japan: POI! Most of the endangered and extinct species are caused by humans now!

Malaysia: Like America said!

Skye: Um, guys, your seven minutes are up! (conveniently quickly…)

New Zealand: People, look at us. Look at what we have done to the world. Look at all the water we have wasted, so much that entire lakes and rivers have dried up. Look at all the animals and plants that have gone extinct. Look at the countless natures, beautiful wonders of the world that we have destroyed. Dare you say it wasn't your faults as much as anybody else?

Israel: God knew what he was doing when he commanded us to give the plants and animals a world in safety, away from humans. They will preserve the earth better than we ever will.

New Zealand: Take coral for a view. It's so big it can be seen from space. It grew for over more than twenty-five thousand years. And then humans came along, and now half of it is gone. Humans change things, and I know change can sometimes be good, but too much change will make it all too fast for others to catch up.

Israel: And what next? How much more will we destroy? Will we wage war over water, like we do everything else? What is next? Mountains? Oceans? Can't you see how everyone just sits back and watches, while entire species fall and die?

New Zealand: We are already so far gone. We have even long come to the point were we kill those of the same species. Animals do not kill each other for no reason, but humans do.

Israel: Look at us! Doesn't that alone say something about humanity?

New Zealand: This is what we have brought to you today. And now, I just want you to think about all that.

…

China: So moving, aru.

Canada: So beautiful.

China: So touching.

Canada: You've convinced me.

America: Not allowed!

China: Aiyaah, that should be allowed. We can't debate if we don't even like the side we're on anymore.

Canada: Agreed. Suck it up, little brother.


	4. Discussion: Laws

**Well, it's been awhile. I got my own folder, and therefore didn't need to make copies of our notes for awhile, not to mention we only really get about half of our debates and discussions down with these anyway. But... meh. We got bored, so there may be more updates coming again.**

**More OCs are popping up in this one. Liana doesn't really have access to Hetalia except from me, so she's just wildly guessing.**

**If there's anything you don't understand, let me know in a review and I'll put it in.**

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><p><em>Discussion: Laws<em>

Liana: We should be taking notes. Which countries should we blackmail this time?

America: *shuffles away*

Liana: Get back here!

America: Okay. Um. If you're involved in a crime, like a witness or something, um… go tell the police?

Canada: *smacks forehead* so if you were tricked into it or overheard it or something, then if you go tell the police immediately you are clean, and the proof of your innocence is the fact that you've gone to the police willingly and immediately.

Malaysia: Most countries still have those laws. Parliamentary systems are pretty different though…

Hong Kong: You can take abortion for example. Many countries' laws are bound by religion; Malaysia (Islamic), Ireland (Catholic); but places like the United Kingdoms and America…

Brazil: I always feel kinda' insulted whenever I hear you people saying stuff to USA… we're part of America too.

Mexico: Yeah, it's a continent.

Chile: Two continents.

Canada: I know, it's sad. Anyway, the point is that loads of countries have tons of different laws, some of which are completely ridiculous. And having the excuse of 'I wasn't aware of this law' is not accepted.

America: There's a good reason we have so many laws, though. You have to cover theft, murder, drugs, abuse, non-consensual sex–

Liechtenstein: What's sex?

Switzerland: *covers her ears*

China: Anyway, even if you manage to study up on all the laws around the world (which is practically impossible) they're always changing. Like, families are smaller now because of that, you notice, aru.

Japan: Um, because of laws?

China: I mean, we used to have over ten children per family and now my government had that one-child policy, aru.

Hong Kong: That's, like, kinda' a stupid law.

China: Tell that to my government. They've pretty much been listening to be ever since I reached the age of actually being legal but they insist on that one.

Saudi Arabia: Laws don't always work. The punishment for rape in my country is horrific, but there are still loads of people arrested for that.

Liechtenstein: What's rape?

Switzerland: What's the age limit for this club?!

Austria: Way, way, way, way older than her.

Skye: Thirteen. No, wait, twelve.

Liechtenstein: I'm twelve! And seriously, what's rape and what's sex? They keep mentioning it and I'm getting really confused.

Switzerland: We're getting out of here. Now.

France: Well, mon petite Liechtenstein, those oh-so interesting words mean–

Switzerland: *takes safety off gun and point it at him*

France: …Some things that are not appropriate for you.

Sitzerland: Don't destroy my sister's innocence! *takes her hand and leaves*

Liana: BACK TO THE TOPIC! You're wasting precious note-taking space with these conversations.

Skye: I'll trade my notes for these conversations anyday.

Liana: True.

_[...Some countries still follow traditional monarchy, where a person inherits the throne from his birth status regardless of his capability. And in many cases another criteria is that the heir is a boy...]_

Thailand: My current king is really old, could be dying anytime now, his son's an idjit, his daughter's wonderful, but women aren't allowed to rule. I should really change that.

_[...Some countries' laws follow the rules of religion, for example, cat holism...]_

Israel: 10 Commandments –

- There is one God and one God only.

- Thou shall not use the name of the Lord in vain

- Keep the Sabbath day holy, for God.

- Honor thy father and thy mother.

- Thou shall not murder.

- Respect your body and that of other people.

- Thou shall not steal.

- Thou shall not commit adultery.

- Thou shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

- Thou shall not covet.

_[…]_

Liechtenstein: What's pedophilia?

Switzerland: It's what Austria does to me all the time now get back here!

Liana: The age limit is now fifteen.

Liechtenstein: Aw…

Switzerland: Thank you.

_[...Child abuse is a very big issue overseas, especially in the USA...]_

Canada: You know, there was this Chinese family that went overseas and they hit their son who told his teacher, and then they were shocked when the parents were arrested.

China: What's wrong with hitting kids? As long as it's for discipline and the children are properly warned, even friends in America do that from time to time.

Finland: It's better than in Sweden where–

Sweden: *turns to look at him*

Finland: Aahh! I mean, um, nothing!

Norway: It's our fault… in a way… we've never been able to completely let go of our viking ways…

Denmark: Why would we want to? Hey, let's go drink something and then–

Norway: *strangles him*

Liana: STOP ACTING LIKE VIKINGS!

Norway: I'm not. Vikings can't strangle each other with ties because ties didn't exist during our viking era. One of the nice things that came with modernization.

Denmark : *gasp* *choke*

Finland: Heh heh.

Sweden: *watches*

Iceland: My family is so weird… I don't know why I bother.


	5. Debate: Freedom To Offend Religion

**Moi moi! This particular debate made me laugh more than any of the others, because I didn't even need to do it all that much. Besides the side conversations that we used to make it all country-ish, a lot of the dialogue was taken directly from speeches. Unbelievable, on a scale.**

**But seriously. Pretty much the whole of Sealand's speech was actual real live without any editing. I love my debate club, everyone is so quirky.**

**Um, also, this debate has a bit to do with religion, so please do not be offended by anything that might have been said here, not that I really remember if there was anything that could be considered offensive abroad from the usual Hetalia way...**

**As usual, if you don't understand anything ask me in a review and I'll put it in.**

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><p><em>Motion: This House Believes That Freedom Of Speech Should Include The Right To Offend Religion.<em>

America: Freedom of speech!

Canada: You're kidding, right?

America: We support your right to insult, not the insult itself! Freedom is the right to do whatever you want. If we don't allow people to insult stuff, that's contradicting. FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

England: That's the exact thing that sparks anger from many terrorist groups.

America: But remember the Westboro Baptist Church? Those guys were insulting homosexuals and all which gave people the right to insult them back and stuff.

Canada: Says the country who discourages gay marriages.

America: Oi!

Brazil: Violence doesn't just come from freedom of speech, you know.

Canada: Isn't that an important trigger?

Brazil: Not exactly. People are insulted all the time, some people just aren't mature enough to handle it.

Israel: Point taken, but insulting religion is different.

America: Seriously, dude? How?

Ireland: Insulting a person's habits or looks is one thing, but this would be like insulting someone's family and lifelong beliefs. Hundreds to millions of people's.

Brazil: Just sayin–

Sealand: The Fault In Our Stars!

England: …What?

Sealand: A movie that contains the word FAULTS! The same kind of FAULTS that are in YOUR argument! *points to government side*

America: But freedom of speech…!

Sealand: BROADEN YOUR PERSPECTIVES?! THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU NEED TO INSULT THEM!

Brazil: People like that Westboro Baptist Church are going to keep insulting no matter what.

Canada: Even the other Muslims agree that you can't take a life just because of an insult.

Sealand: Yes! But! –hmm.

*many younger uninvolved countries burst out laughing*

Sealand: Actually, no! But! Can you repeat that?

*laughing starts up again*

Sweden: Seal'nd, s't d'wn.

Malaysia: Sealand said that people make fun of the other religions, it broadens perspectives, and they are still hearing different comments. We may not have the same point of view, but we are still defending people's right to speak their minds.

Sealand: But!

Malaysia: No, sit down.

Sealand: *sulks*

Singapore: Look, little sis… _(Malaysia: I'm older than you!)_ If the whole Charlie Hebdo thing hadn't started, then the terrorists wouldn't have killed anyone.

Malaysia: Actually, Charlie Hebdo has always been pointing fun at stuff anyway. The terrorist attack could have happened for anything, really, the fact that it just so happened to be this proves nothing. I mean, I'm Muslim too and you don't see me running off to kil them.

Taiwan: I thought you were Buddhist or Christian or something.

Malaysia: I'm a multireligious nation.

Italy: Um, you know, you said that when you insult someone else, others are able to defend themselves, but fighting fire with fire is not exactly the best way to stop it. In the freedom of speech, you can say whatever you want, but if this is hurting someone else, it's not applicable.

…

Romano: You said something relatively sane. Anyway, how is it right that terrorists continue to kill people but under your paradigm nothing is being done about it?

Italy: We'll answer that later.

Romano: You mean you don't know. And hey, what are you doing here?

Italy: Like you just said, fratello, I am significantly able to say things that are perfectly sane.

Iceland: Right… It is your choice to feel hurt or insulted by anything. Everyone has different opinions. If one says something it may offend someone, but if we are not willing to offend that person, we may simply offend someone else.

America: …I didn't get that.

Spain: Neither did I, but I think that since the world is constantly changing, if we do not listen to these insults that we won't know what we need to change.

Italy: True, but loads of those insults are just that– insults. They don't actually say anything that would be remotely benifitable.

Poland: Couldn't we just tell them not to insult people *clutches heart and makes sad face* it hurts their feelings.

…

Lithuania: To rephrase that, isn't it better to advise instead of insult?

Iceland: …Telling people nicely will not make them remember it. An insult will be remembered.

Canada: The most ridiculous thing (no offense) about what your side is saying is that insults are just a way of communication or even advice. It won't help, they might not understand the point of your statements, and it's just making them angry so that they won't even listen anymore.

Greece: Religion is a very personal thing. It strikes deeper than other types of insults. In fact, those riots and protests that you support are just a small step away from ascending into violence.

Japan: Greece-san! You woke up!

Greece: Religion is something I am very passionate about, Japan-kun.

Italy: I agree, this kind of thing isn't peace! How do you achieve peace by continuously firing insults at each other? If you encourage this, it'll be practically encouraging a war.

Germany: Interesting, it seems that these two can actually be very resourceful when it comes to the things that the care about.

Canada: Psst! Who's summarizing?

Seychelles: *turns and kicks Sealand up*

Sealand: Aaaaaaaaaaaagh… Oh. Hi.

…

Sealand: To summarize.

…

Sealand: Our side. Is standing.

…

Sealand: While the other side has fallen down… into the depths of the ocean. *a sweaping hand gesture accompanies this*

Iceland: Pfft!

Sealand: Because.

_(dramatic music)_

Sealand: …We have awesome speakers.

Gov Side: What?

Opp Side: Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Canada: Not like that! Reasons relating to your argument!

Sealand: Oh.

…

Sealand: Because. We.

_(dramatic music)_

Sealand: …Totally have better points.

Gov Side: What?

Opp Side: Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Canada: Sealand!

Sealand: Right, okay! Not all of us have been coming to as many of these meetings as you have! Points, right?

Canada: Right.

Sealand: Okay.

…

Sealand: Offending someone's religion. Very often bring.

_(dramatic –_

Seychelles: Get on with it!

Sealand: …Violent and painful death. Thank you!

Everyone: Wait, what?!


	6. Topics: To Ban Stuff like Junk Food

**Aloha! We're back! This one is written solely by Liana, who was kind enough to take notes for me when I went missing for a few days.**

**...It's not a lot. But enjoy!**

**(Characters may be majorly OOC... as I said, she doesn't actually read or watch Hetalia)**

**Review to ask if you have any questions.**

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><p><em>MOTION: This house would ban all religious symbols in public buildings.<em>

Liechtenstein: What–

Switzerland: Just drop it, Liechtenstein.

Liechtenstein: But– mmmmppphhhhh!

Switzerland: *clamps hand over Liechtenstein's mouth* Sorry. Go on with your note taking. C'mon Liechtenstein.

Liechtenstein: Mmmmppphh! Big brother~!

Switzerland: Only if you come quietly.

Liechtenstein: *rolls eyes* Hmph. I'm old enough for debate club…

Switzerland: Look, it's the next motion already.

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><p><em>MOTION: This house would ban junk food from school.<em>

America: YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS!

Canada: Well actually, junk food is consumed the most at school. However, junk food does not have, or has very little nutrients, and often hurts our health.

Malaysia: Ya lah, eat durian better mah!

England: Malaysia!

Malaysia: What?

England: Use the Queen's English!

America: You can't just ban junk food!

Canada: Why?

America: Freedom of choice!

Canada: *rolls eyes*

America: The more you limit it, the more people want to eat it! It doesn't help if you take it away!

Canada: Of course. And you want to eat it either way.

America: You should at least give them the option to buy it!

Canada: Eat pancakes and maple syrup!

America: Vending machines are important, and most of them sell junk food! No lunch lady is gonna stay in school all the time, dude! Students need to eat after after-school sports!

Canada: Junk food is expensive! Try biscuits or pre-packaged bread instead! Or pancakes and maple syrup!


	7. Discussion: Jane Goodall

**Right, so, this doesn't honestly have much to do with debate, but we wrote while procrastinating in debate club so I'm putting it up here.**

**The conversation (on paper) started when Liana told me she went to some Jane Goodall talk yesterday****– **

_**Can you believe she doesn't know who Jane Goodall is?!**_

**–And I asked her who she was. which means she kept bugging me about it until I asked her to explain. Hence, we wrote this.**

_**If our debate coach is reading this, we're really sorry we weren't listening to your lesson today.**_

**This is the last time I'm ever letting Liana near my keyboard again.**

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><p>America: Who's Jane Goodall?<p>

England: YOU DON'T KNOW WHO JANE GOODALL IS?

Canada: Um, no?

England: You want the long story or the short story?

America, Sealand, Australia: Short!

Canada, Seychelles, New Zealand: Long!

France: How about short, then long?

Canada: *holds hockey stick threateningly* How about long or nothing?

America: *sweat drops* Yeah, heh heh. Let's do long.

England: Jane Goodall was born in my country, about 80 years ago, during the war. Before she could even walk, she was crawling around, looking at spiders and other animals.

Australia: Oh, cool!

New Zealand: She's famous for looking at spiders?

Seychelles: What about fish?

America, Canada, Sealand: *sweat drops* You guys are weird…

England: When she was just one, her mother found her with a bunch of earthworms in bed with her. She had a supportive mother, and all she said was, "Put them back. They need the earth or they will die." She had a stuffed chimpanzee named Jubilee. She brought Jubilee everywhere. She had a tree named Beech, and she used to sit and read Tarzan. She dreamed of going to Africa and living with chimpanzees like the other Jane.

…

Seychelles: That's so cool!

Australia: Meh, crocodiles are better.

New Zealand: Gee, I appreciate her enthusiasm!

Sealand: …

Canada: I am suddenly reminded of a certain child who carried his green stuffed bunny everywhere…

America: And his three-days-older twin who tried to run away and live with polar bears.

Sealand: …I still don't get it.

England: When she was 23, she got an invitation from an old schoolmate to go to Kenya.

Canada: In Kenya they have safaris.

France: Excusez moi?

Canada: Never mind.

Seychelles: Continue, I like this story.

Sealand: You're weird…

England: So… To the consternation of everyone but her mother, her aunt, and her grandmother, she left for Kenya. At that time, we were at war with Egypt. So instead of taking 10 days, the had to go the long way and take 3 weeks.

New Zealand: Ah, what's a slight detour in the name of science?

America: Was that sarcasm?

Australia & New Zealand: No.

Canada: Wait, does that mean she left without their permission?

England: No, her family supported her. She came from a family of strong women. Her aunt was the first female physiotherapist.

Sealand: I still don't get why she was so obsessed with becoming an animal.

…

England: *ignoring Sealand* She met Louis Leakey – an archeologist, and left as his secretary, without even looking for a job.

Sealand: I shall never trust anyone named leaky.

…

England: *still ignoring Sealand* Eventually, Leakey told her about a trip to Tanzania to study chimpanzees.

Seychelles: You go girl! Follow your dreams!

…

England: She needed a chaperone… so her mother volunteered.

Canada: That's sweet…

America: …But also still kinda disturbing.

England: Every morning, she would go and track chimpanzees. But it wasn't easy. They'd never seen a white chimpanzee. But one day, she saw one she then named David Graybeard using grass to fish termites out of a mound, and stripping leafy twigs to get termites out. The beginning of fool making.

America: Fool ma–

Canada: Wait, they saw a white chimpanzee?

England: Actually–

Franze: Oui, they did.

England: Wait, what?

Australia: A white chimpanzee!

New Zealand: Amazing!

Australia: That's so cool!

New Zealand: So rare!

Australia: She's so lucky!

New Zealand: I wish I had seen it!

America, Canada, Sealand: …

Seychelles: Even I'm not that obsessed.

Australia: What's the chances of finding an albino chimpanzee!

New Zealand: Next to zero!

Australia: That's so–

England: Stop!

France: It was a _joke,_ mon petit enfants.

Australia: Really? But…

New Zealand: *sniffle*

England: Stop bullying my colonies, France.

Canada: Moving on…

England: Right. Well, David Graybeard was a normal chimpanzee. Oh, and science at the time was telling her that she shouldn't give them names, she should give them numbers. It was more 'scientific'.

Sealand: I still don't get it.

New Zealand: I have a pet sheep named Cinnamon.

…

Canada: I've got Kumajiro. You know, my polar bear.

Sealand: I've got a goat named Oliver.

…

America: I do have a cat named Americat Japan gave to me.

Australia: I have a crocodile name Carol. And a koala bear named Betsy. And a platypus named Perry, and a wombat named Lily, and an armadillo named Georgie.

New Zealand: Georgie and Perry are also girls, by the way.

…

England: I am suddenly very worried about you two…

France: You can thank Jane Goodall for him letting you continue like that.

New Zealand: This is the guy who has a flying mint bunny named Flying Mint Bunny.

England: Going off topic.

Seychelles: I feel kinda awkward.

Canada: Why, no pets?

Seychelles: I did have a tuna named Fishy. But I got hungry one day…

France: Right… you, mon Cherie, I am worried about.

England: That's much more disturbing than Australia and New Zealand.

Seychelles: What? A girl has to eat!

America: Remind me to never let you near Americat.

England: ANYWAY, Leaky went to National Geographic, and they promised to fund her, because before she'd only had 6 months worth of funds. And she'd made a HUGE discovery.

Australia & New Zealand: Ooh! What is it! What is it!

England: Cihmpanzees use tools. Before then, humans were considered superior because they were the 'only ones' that could use tools. So they said 'we must either redefine man, redefine tools, or accept chimpanzees as humans.'

America: That's silly, chimpanzees aren't humans.

Canada: She didn't really mean it like that.

Hong Kong: Um, guys?

England: Aw, bloody hell, this story's too long. Basically, Leakey then told her to go study and stuff. But she didn't have time so she just skipped straight phd.

Hong Kong: Guys!

Sealand: Yeah, what?

Hong Kong: This, like, kinda has nothing to do with, like, the actual debate.

Canada: Oh yeah…

Hong Kong: And you also kinda, like, missed the whole debate that you were actually supposed to be taking notes on.

America: Meh, don't care.


End file.
